Wireless Internet is awesome.  Here I am, sitting in the hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of tubes and monitors.  Since I’m not going anywhere any time soon, I thought that I’d pass the time by chronicling events as they occur.

7:35 a.m.–Arrive at hospital, put on unattractive gown and fill out lots of paperwork.

8:30 a.m.–BT checks market.  DOW up on open.  Oil up but airline stocks unchanged.  Nurse checks cervix–says I’m a “2.”  Hmm–Dr. Mac said that I was a “1” yesterday.

9:30 a.m.–After several failed attempts at starting an IV and with the help of 3 nurses, Pitocin drip starts.  Despite my request for “silence,” the nurses gave me a play-by-play of my “valvey” veins, etc.  I nearly passed out.

9:55 a.m.–Dr. Mac breaks my water.  I really don’t like feeling “drippy.”  Dr. Mac didn’t exactly call me a “2,” but he did say that I seemed to be a bit more dilated than yesterday.  The nurse ups the pitocin for the 2nd time–to 4 milliunits.

10:20 a.m.–Nurse ups pitocin to 6 milliunits.  So far, contractions are manageable.

11:30 a.m.–The hour-long break between updates is due to a Text Twist game.  We got to 98,450 points before losing.  Here I am in labor, trying to focus on the game, and I keep catching BT glancing up at the t.v. screen to check on the stock market.  I think that’s why we got stumped and ultimately lost the game. 🙂

Pitocin is up to 14 milliunits.  There’s some type of calculation used to determine optimal pitocin dosage.  It’s based on the strength and frequency of contractions.  Dr. Mac wants me to get to 225, and the nurse says that I’m at 170.  The contractions are definitely more painful at this point, but I’m managing just fine.  My blood pressure and the baby’s heart rate are perfect.

BT is the one I’m worried about.  He is shivering because the room is quite chilly, but he’s too manly to put on my pink robe to warm up.

I’m hoping that Dr. Mac stops by during his lunch break to see if I’ve dilated further.

12:30 p.m.–Good news!  Dr. Mac stopped by 15 minutes ago and said that I’m at a 3!  I know that it doesn’t sound like much, but I’ve never been at a 3 and NOT had an epidural before.  With Ari and Vivi, I had MAJOR pain and was still a 2.  The baby is still at a -2 station, for those of you that know what that means.  The contractions are definitely getting more painful, but I’m holding up surprisingly well.  I’ve gotten a lot more sleep in the late stage of this pregnancy than with the girls, so I’m sure that contributes to my ability to cope.  Dr. Mac said that he would stop back by in a few hours.

2:00 p.m.–Holy Moley.  I’m hoping that the dr stops by soon and tells me that I’ve made a ton of progress, because I’m really feeling the pain now.  BT may have to take over the updates soon.  If that happens, take what he says with a grain of salt.

2:45 p.m.–Dr. Mac just stopped by.  I’m only a 3 1/2, 70% effaced, -1.  To my inquisitive glare he replied, “It’s the whole watched pot kind of thing.”  As I grimaced and snorted, Bryan was trying to crack stupid jokes to make me laugh but has so far been unsuccessful.  To be or not to be (epiduralized) – that is now the question.  Well, one of the questions.  Another question is why does Bryan have to chomp the stinking ice!!!  And why does he keep calling me Olga??  And how am I supposed to keep my hair ready for the pictures when the nurses keep making me roll from side to side??

3:15  p.m.–Wow!  Talk about talented, I just spent 30 minutes balancing on the beside, not moving, while the contractions wracked my body and Dr. Jones used a needle the size of post hole diggers to give me an epidural.  Thankfully, the soothing medication seems to be working and I’m now able to more fully enjoy the experience of oxygen, IVs, catheters and nursing alarms.  When the nurse checked and proclaimed I’m a 4.5, I wanted to kiss someone so luckily BT was close at hand!

5:00 p.m.–Pressure.

5:31 p.m.–After pushing though three contractions, Baby Tad entered the world.  Vital stats–7 lbs. 9 oz., 20 inches long.  Scored 9’s for apgar.  BT wants to know if “apgar” is an intelligence test.

5:32 p.m.–Dr. Mac should have put the “pee pee tepee” on first; Baby Tad tinkled his way into the world.  We held a family vote a few days ago about who would get “squirted” first.  None of us thought to add Dr. Mac to the ballot.

6:15 p.m.–Baby Tad received his first visitors–Ari, Vivi, Grandma Hess & Aunt Lisa.  Vivi wanted to poke and prod.  Ari was sweetly attentive and became very teary when it came time to leave.  I miss my girls.

8:40 p.m.–Still waiting for the nursery to bring our baby to us.  Grrr.  According to all accounts, he’s been gathering the most ooh’s and aah’s of the new younguns in the nursery.  We think that the nurses are so enamoured with him that they don’t want to let him out of their sight.

I sit here, writing in the dark so as to not wake the girls.  I’m showered and dressed, having chosen to wear a shirt that my sister gave to me as good “luck,” because she’s one of the toughest people that I know.  My bag is packed, the carseat is in the truck, and in one hour we’ll start the process of introducing Baby Tad to our family.

I’m pretty calm under the circumstances.  It’s not really the birth that I worry about.  It’s the aftermath of sleepless nights and raging hormones and a body that, despite NOT being pregnant anymore, doesn’t look anything like it did 9 months ago–not that it was anything to brag about back then, either.  I worry that Bryan’s schedule and the demands on his time and attention will leave me feeling like a single mom.  But amidst the worry, there is a peace that comes.  Somehow . . . even though my head tells me that it is not possible . . . somehow in my heart I know that everything will work out.

Happy Birthday, Baby Tad!

“You’re the ONE that I love!  Ha, ha . . . get it?!?”  That’s how BT answered the phone when I called to tell him the results of today’s doctor’s appointment.  I didn’t even have to tell him that I was STILL dilated to a ONE.

I’m not lovin’ being a “ONE,” but one week from today when I’m induced, none of that will matter anymore. 🙂

No, “Tight One” is not a nickname for BT, Mr. Frugality.

It’s how Dr. MacDonald described my “dilation” progress.  If I were in a “glass-full” kinda mood, I’d say–Yippee!  One down, nine to go.  But I’m not in that kinda mood.  Not even close.

Two weeks and a few days until my due date, and I’m only a “Tight One.”  What’s up with that????

On a happy note, our sonogram showed a healthy baby boy estimated to currently weigh 6 lbs. 14 ozs.  When I showed Vivi the sonogram picture, she was mesmerized and didn’t want to give it back.

I personally think that 4D ultrasound pictures look creepy, but here it is for posterity’s sake:

Happy Birthday, Mom!

If I could give you any gift, it would be to turn back time and be a better daughter–to give you more occasions to smile, to be more helpful and more grateful.  Unfortunately, time travel is not my forte, so I hope that my determination to be as faithful a mother to my children as you are to yours will suffice.

The topic of motherhood seems to be on my mind a lot these days, particularly as the birth of our baby draws near.  Memories of a rewarding career accompanied by mind-expanding projects, big paychecks, and lots of pats on the back are still fresh in my mind as I go about my present-day tasks of scrubbing toilets, wiping bums, folding mountains of never-ending laundry, and wondering how in the world I’m going to manage it all with a newborn added to the mix.  And then there’s the physical discomfort associated with the final weeks of pregnancy.  At times, particularly at the end of the day, I truly wonder how in the world I’m going to find the spiritual, physical and emotional strength to get out of bed in the morning and do it all again.  And then my thoughts turn to my mom.  She did it, and so must I.

I always knew that I loved my mom.  I’m sure that every child does.  But there were times during my teenage years that I was sassy and downright cruel to her.  On more than one occasion, my dad would sternly and appropriately remind me, “Your Mother put her foot in the grave to give you life!”  Oh, how I regret the disrespect I showed and pain I must have caused, because now that I am a mom, I have a deep understanding of exactly the types of sacrifices she made for me.

Thank you, Mom, for your example of selflessness, patience and love.  I hope that you have a wonderful day!

“The noblest calling in the world is motherhood.  True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions.  She who can paint a masterpiece, or who can write a book that will influence millions, deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God.”  ~David O. McKay

“WHEN I AM BAPTIZED”

[audio:http://tolberts.org/lori/Audio/rainbows.mp3]

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain
And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.

I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away,
And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

Surrounded by family and friends–including Grandma & Grandpa Hess, Aunt Heidi, Aunt Lisa and Gran Tolbert–Ariana was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by her dad, John Bryan Tolbert, on Saturday, September 6, 2008.

As I helped Ariana put on her new baptism dress, I couldn’t help but think about a similar day, 8 years ago, that I dressed my precious newborn daughter in her blessing dress.  Ariana’s birth changed my life and heart forever.

Several times during my pregnancy, I questioned how Heavenly Father could possibly send me a child given the stormy circumstances of my life at the time.  Now I know that by blessing me with my sweet Ariana, He was sending me a rainbow.  She empowered me with the hope and strength needed to see us both through to brighter days.

I love you with all my heart, Ariana, and am so incredibly proud of the wonderful young lady you are becoming.