While heating up micro-tweeze wax in the microwave so that I can rip off some of the catepillar-like unibrow I have crawling across my forehead, I glanced at my grocery shopping list.  Smack dab in the middle of the list was “lingerie.” How the heck did THAT get there? No, I can guarantee that it was NOT a Freudian slip. (Ha! no pun intended).  

I did a double take.  

Oooh! Linguine. Pasta. Noodles.

In addition to tending to my facial hair needs, I think that a fresh pair of contacts is in order.