2/8/08

Dear Jane,

Ugh! A13 was tough! My finished block size is smaller than it should be, so hopefully everything will still work out. Some of my seam allowances are going to be small, but I DO NOT want to re-sew the block.

Vivi and I went and ate lunch with Ariana at school. She’s been hoping that we would but I’ve put it off until today.

This morning, the moderator of a blog I like to read posted a mini-survey–questions about favorite books, favorite movies, etc. One wonderful mom responded that she’s reading C.S. Lewis to her kids and, other than the scriptures and Ensign, she hasn’t read anything for herself in a while. Her favorite movie is Cars. All day long, I’ve been feeling like a big, fat, selfish loser. While I quilt, other moms are reading to their kids, doing science experiments, and watching mindless movies with them. Of course I don’t spend all my waking hours quilting or doing selfish things. And I do try to read to Vivi each day–she loves it. But I certainly don’t sit around and dote on my kids every minute of the day. I truly admire moms that play in the mud with their kids, but I am not that kind of mom. I know that Ariana wishes that I were. What will my kids’ childhood memories of their mother be? Do I need to set aside this project for a while so that I can be a mom worth remembering? That’s a sad thought for me, because this adventure has brought much needed excitement and a sense of accomplishment into my life. So, I’ll likely press forward with it, but as I do, I’ll try to be more mindful of ways to better connect with my kids.

Love,

Lori