Ever After



We all knew that Ariana’s transition from elementary to middle school would not be easy, but none of us was prepared for the turmoil it has caused in our home.

Saturday, Ariana spent ELEVEN consecutive hours doing homework and several more hours on Sunday. Every evening is consumed with homework and studying for tests. She goes to school early every morning and stays late most days to attend tutorials or to retake tests.

Although I am very impressed with Ari’s level of dedication and her patient attitude, my nerves and her confidence are unraveling because her test scores indicate that she’s not mastering the concepts that she is dedicating so much time to.

And it doesn’t help her confidence when I become a ranting, raging lunatic and berate her for making the same mistake on a math problem for the fourth consecutive time.

And it doesn’t help her accuracy when, being the dear little miser that she is, she tries to cram complicated facts and figures into a fractional inch of scratch paper.

And it doesn’t help our mental acuity when neither of us is getting enough sleep at night.

And it doesn’t help our sanity when my full-on OCD perfectionism (especially when it comes to schoolwork and the quest for a perfect report card) flares in a very big way.  I lose my grasp on reality and, like a crazed has-been athlete vicariously reliving the glory days through his child, I forget that I am not the student. It is not MY homework, MY test, MY report card. Those things belong to my very capable daughter who is entitled to feel the pain of procrastination so that she may learn to be prepared and to bask in the euphoria of accomplishment when, through her dedicated efforts, she conquers a challenging concept.

Heaven HELP us!

Help me to mirror the love, patience and kindness that she extends to everyone around her.

Help her mind to absorb what she is studying and process the information so that it makes sense.

Help her to know that I love her no matter what grade she gets.

Help me remember to show my love for her no matter what grade she gets.

Help me to not forget that she is only a child, my child, and that she is doing the best she can.


  • Comment by Cindy — September 29, 2011 @ 10:55 pm

    I hope she reads your blog. You show such love for her (all of them really) in your writing. Parenting is so hard and no one is perfect. You are a good mom, Lori.

  • Comment by Judy — September 30, 2011 @ 12:19 am

    not easy is it! We did the jump to Jr. High. New school, new math, new everything. I took too much of a step back last year (she did ok but it was elementary school). I have to remember that not only Breagan needs help but so does Laren. It’s not easy being a mom is it!

  • Comment by Deanna — October 3, 2011 @ 12:04 am

    Sigh… I am not looking forward to that part of the school years…. Dan keeps telling me that in just 5 more years all our kids will be in school… I keep reminding him that it just means a new set of struggles and trials. Good luck!!

  • Comment by Heidi — October 12, 2011 @ 10:06 am

    While reading this post I got teary. I can so relate! Just two days ago, after asking Tyler everyday if he has any homework, I found out that he had even more missing assignments. I called him into the den and confronted him about it. His reply was honest but mine was explosive! I had to repent and apologize yesterday morning as I took him to school. This of course happened after Jesse gave us a Family Home Evening lesson on being honest. Being a mom is hard! But I think being a kid is even harder! Listed to Boyd K Packard’s talk again. It is great to get a renewed perspective on the life and times of a child. I love you Lori…just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming. (Finding Nemo) And be grateful that Ariana’s grades don’t truly count until she hits 9th grade…like Tyler.

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