You’ve probably heard the phrase “Sunday Best.”  It think it refers to putting on your best clothes as a sign of respect and going to church for Sunday worship.

Sadly, on Sundays, I am not at my best.

Sundays start out with me arising early from a fitful Saturday night slumber and practicing the piano.  My eyes are bleary because I typically have bad dreams about forgetting my piano music, not being able to find the Primary room, or not being able to remember how to play the piano.  So far, two out of three dreams have become reality on more than one occasion.

After I polish the simple little piano pieces to perfection, I bypass breakfast (with nerves in overdrive, I can’t eat) and go upstairs to get dressed.  I dig through my closet,  shove aside my “Sunday Best,” and reach for anything that doesn’t need to be dry cleaned.  Despite the shivers and shakes I experience as I sit on the piano bench in the Primary room, my armpits produce buckets of perspiration, so I opt for only “wash and wear” attire.

And remember all that practicing and polishing I did before church and throughout the week? Well, even though I mastered the music at home, my brain ceases to work the moment I try to play in front of people, and Sunday Best becomes Sunday Worst.  There are times that my heart is beating so fast that I think I might just pass out.

Two Sundays ago, I bawled all the way home … and then some.  I had butchered the piece that we had been asked to sing in Sacrament Meeting on Easter Sunday.  If I can’t master my nerves when I’m playing in front of a bunch of sweet children, I knew that I would suffer a full on nervous breakdown when trying to play in front of all the scary adults in my ward. Thirty years ago, my nerves got the better of me while playing for the Primary in Sacrament Meeting, and I really hadn’t played in front of people since that time until I was recently called as Primary pianist.  And so it has been that, with each passing day, I have become more and more freaked out as Easter Sunday speedily approaches.

But today, my prayers were answered … literally, because every prayer I utter these days includes a plea to help me overcome my freakish fear of playing the piano in front of people.

Hallelujah!  The Primary WILL NOT be singing in Sacrament Meeting on Easter Sunday.

Next up … Mother’s Day … but it is a simple song that I can hopefully play even when impaired.

Prayers on my behalf are in order, friends and family.  Lots of prayers.